Demand Dignity in Public Speaking Training (c)
Mandy*, a bright, attractive professional woman, had a fear of speaking in front of groups. Recognizing that her feelings of vulnerability and self-consciousness were limiting her potential, she showed up for a presentation skills class filled with trepidation. In the class, the students spent the morning listening to the instructor explain the rules of public speaking. That afternoon, they gave their presentations to the group. After nervously waiting through five other talks, Mandy took her place at the front of the room-her heart pounding and hands shaking.
She plowed through her 10-minute presentation with her mind in an out-of-body blur. When she finished, Mandy obeyed the instructor's direction to remain front-and-center to receive her feedback. Comments started with a few "That's a good color on you" and "You had good eye contact" platitudes, but then the real critique began. She used way too many "ums." She shifted her weight too much. Her hair was in her eyes.
Her voice was too soft. Most of all, her excessive gestures simply had to be brought under control! Luckily, the instructor had a gesture-reduction plan. He playfully took a piece of rope from a cardboard box, used it to bind Mandy's hands behind her back, and had her give the entire presentation over again.Did this experience help Mandy overcome her feelings of vulnerability and self-consciousness? Of course not. She shuffled home feeling humiliated and victimized. Rather than compassionately working with Mandy as the vulnerable, dignified, gifted human being she is, the instructor treated her like a horse whose spirit and wild habits had to be broken with ropes.
Literally. Previous Training As A Source of FearIn my 15 years of coaching public speaking, I've worked with hundreds of anxiety-ridden speakers. Surprisingly, they often referred to previous speaking training as a source of their fear. They've been badgered, nit-picked, and intimidated-all stemming from a well-intentioned belief that if you fix the mechanics, confidence will follow. For many people, this approach is, at the very least, ineffective-and it can damage one's sense of dignity.
If you see the audience as the enemy, mastering the art of the upward-hand-sweep-with-the-dramatic-flourish will not make those faces any less threatening. Even worse, this mechanical approach can be devastating if you feel insecure to begin with, then walk away with an even longer list of deficiencies to correct. Of course, there's value in noticing distracting habits and getting them under control. If you're already comfortable in the spotlight, great; go ahead and fine-tune the mechanics. But if you're like Mandy and anxiety is your primary issue (and believe me, you're not alone), a mechanical approach may do more harm than good.What You Need from TrainingSo what do you need, if not the mechanics? Here are four things you'd be wise to demand from your training session:1.
Work on the cause of your discomfort, not merely the symptoms. Most people say that one-on-one or in a small group, they're comfortable with speaking; they only feel awkward when speaking to a large group. If that's the case, there's good news: You don't have to work on your speaking; you have to work on getting comfortable being the center of attention. It may not seem like a significant shift but it is. Speakers tend to work only on what they're putting out to the audience (content, appearance, visual aids, voice).
Often, the real work is learning to let in what's coming from audience members, namely their attention. 2. Demand a dignified, healthy process, not just a good outcome. In Mandy's case, even without ropes, she would probably gesture less the next time she spoke, but is that really success? Though the end result of her training was fewer gestures, the teacher cut a swath of emotional destruction on the way. Desired ends don't justify humiliating means.
Always demand to be treated with respect as you work to develop your speaking skills. 3. Insist on privacy regarding your video. A common tool in presentation skills training is video, but your video is no one's business but yours. I have seen accomplished, respected professionals shrink in horror as their video was shown to and critiqued by the entire class.
All learning value was lost because they were too mortified by the public display to learn anything. Besides, it's a waste of time. The class just saw you present the real thing. Why make them watch you twice? In my workshops, students go to the fun and funky "Learning Lounge" where they have a private video monitor with earphones, snacks, a comfortable chair, cozy quilts, and a soothing foot massager. The lighthearted atmosphere takes the sting out of self-awareness so students can concentrate on learning.
Nothing good comes from public humiliation, so if you're not comfortable with a public video viewing, stand up for your right to privacy.4. Feel free to explore your gifts. "Stay inside the lines." Remember that one? You got a new box of crayons and wanted to go crazy with them, but a teacher or parent squashed your creativity by making you color inside pre-existing lines. The same happens in speaking. Max, a former student of mine, had always been told to follow the rules as a speaker, so he concentrated on his voice, his stance, his visual aids, etc.
When given permission to forget the rules and speak from his heart, a delightful dry sense of humor emerged that made him much more likeable and, therefore, more persuasive. He incorporated this gift into a presentation that was already effective in the traditional sense, but now had a wonderful new dimension that would have been missed had he not played "outside the lines."Mechanics have their place, but you may need to go beyond nit-picking mechanics. You're a unique human being with gifts, talents, stories, fears, dreams, and heart. Don't settle for anything less than a dignified, compassionate approach.Even horses deserve that.* Name has been changed to protect privacy.(c) 2002, Upside Down Speaking.
Melissa Lewis turns traditional thinking about public speaking upside down to give people more comfort, confidence, and charisma in front of groups. She does this through keynotes, workshops, coaching and innovative virtual learning programs. She is a former comic actress, a certified facilitator of SPEAKING CIRCLES, president-elect of the National Speakers Association Kansas City Chapter, and author of the soon-to-be-released book, Upside Down Speaking. For more information, call (913) 341-1241, email mailto:MelissaUDS@aol.com or visit http://www.upsidedownspeaking.com.What to look for in your Golf Fitness Training Program
It is no secret that resistance training exercise will have a tremendous impact in a persons' athletic performance. Golf is still pretty new to this secret, but is quickly seeing all of the benefits strength training has on a persons' golf swing, game performance and endurance.
In fact any kind of strength training is creating immediate impact on players.
Golf Specific Exercises and Golf Fitness Exercise programs are popping up everywhere, but the truth is this "if you are an avid golfer and have never exercised with weights before and started a very basic strength training program, you would see some improvement to your game" says Rafael Moret, creator of the Miami Golf Fitness Program. "The key is to start a program that delivers not only overall conditioning, but golf specific strengthening exercises and injury prevention techniques with specific stretching for the golf player".
"As a Golf Fitness Instructor there are very specific things that...
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Millionaire Mindset: Is Your Brain Sabotaging Your Wealth and Success?
Have you ever wondered why some people seem to have success with every they do? Do they have some magical power which
helps them accumulate wealth that you don't? Would you like to quickly get that power? In a recent interview for the List Crusade program, T. Harv Eker revealed what he calls the Millionaire Mindset-which gives extremely successful individuals what seems to be an "unfair advantage." (Note: To access T. Harv Eker's complete audio interview for fre^e, see end of article) Harv is the author of the best-selling book, SpeedWealth, as well as several highly-acclaimed courses such as The Millionaire Mind Intensive, Life Directions, Wizard Training and Train the Trainer. He is also the producer and trainer of the world-famous Enlightened Warrior Training. He went from zero to millionaire in only 2-1/2 years using the Speed Wealth principles he teaches.
He shows you how to instantly rid yourself of limiting beliefs that have stopped you from accumulating wealth...
Millionaire Mindset: Is Your Brain Sabotaging Your Wealth and Success?
Puppy training > Millionaire Mindset: Is Your Brain Sabotaging Your Wealth and Success?
Millionaire Mindset: Is Your Brain Sabotaging Your Wealth and Success?
Have you ever wondered why some people seem to have success with every they do? Do they have some magical power which
helps them accumulate wealth that you don't? Would you like to quickly get that power? In a recent interview for the List Crusade program, T. Harv Eker revealed what he calls the Millionaire Mindset-which gives extremely successful individuals what seems to be an "unfair advantage." (Note: To access T. Harv Eker's complete audio interview for fre^e, see end of article) Harv is the author of the best-selling book, SpeedWealth, as well as several highly-acclaimed courses such as The Millionaire Mind Intensive, Life Directions, Wizard Training and Train the Trainer. He is also the producer and trainer of the world-famous Enlightened Warrior Training. He went from zero to millionaire in only 2-1/2 years using the Speed Wealth principles he teaches.
He shows you how to instantly rid yourself of limiting beliefs that have stopped you from accumulating wealth...
Millionaire Mindset: Is Your Brain Sabotaging Your Wealth and Success?
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Want to Know What Teen Geeks and Freaks Want for the Holidays?
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Want to Know What Teen Geeks and Freaks Want for the Holidays?
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Marlon Familton Joins The Peaks Coaching Group out of Bedford Virginia
Dynamic Sports Training founded in 2000 by Marlon Familton of Bellevue Washington to provide individualized coaching services to cyclists, has joined the national coaching staff of The Peaks Coaching Group out of Bedford Virginia.
The Peaks Coaching Group was founded by former pro cyclists Hunter Allen and is now a national leader in the growing industry of bicycling and endurance coaches. Cyclists and Triathletes improve the quality of their performance by hiring a coach to develop customized training plans. In the 8 years that Allen has been coaching, his athletes have won over 400 events, including two national championships, and many regional and district titles."Hunter Allen along with internationally respected exercise physiologist Andy R. Coggan, Ph.D.
who recently signed with The Peaks Coaching Group as a scientific consultant, are on the absolute cutting edge in terms of how to become a more powerful bike rider or endurance athlete."
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Puppy training > Marlon Familton Joins The Peaks Coaching Group out of Bedford Virginia
Green drink for constipation
A green drink is a powerful drink that can help detoxify your colon and your blood. This drink keeps your colon and your whole body working better and longer.There are many types of green drinks that are prepared with powders. But the green drink that I like is made using only liquid chlorophyll.Chlorophyll has many benefits. It is capable of neutralizing substances that cause cell mutations and strengthens the cell walls of the small intestine and colon. It has an exceptional deodorizing effect...
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Black Roses
The concept of using "flower language" has come a long way. Flowers, especially roses can be used to express any sentiment without having to use words. Flowers are an effective channel to correspond sentiments, which if expressed otherwise may be inappropriate. Use of black roses has always been minimal. This is attributed to the fact that in most cases it symbolizes death, hatred and farewell as they are mostly used at funerals.
Numerous radical and rebel groups have accepted the...
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Herbs
For those wishing to adopt a natural lifestyle in particular, herbs are nature's own remedy. They are not merely used for improving the favour of food, even though this is one of their most popular uses. Such herbs as marjoram, mint, rosemary and thyme stimulate the appetite, add zest to food, enhance its taste and are extolled by top chefs, the world over. However, they are, in reality, medicines and, as such, are one of the finest natural cures. However, as...
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How To Find Cheap Laptops For Cash-Strapped College Students
Copyright 2006 Titus Hoskins
Finding a cheap laptop for college is an easy task. Laptop prices have fallen steadily over the last couple of years as marketplace competition heats up and production costs come down. You can now get a laptop for under $400.
But you must proceed with caution - as that old expression on ancient maps stated: Here There Be Monsters!
For you just don't want any old cheap laptop; you want a high quality machine that will offer good...
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March Plasma Systems Receives United States Patent Number 6,852,169 for Apparatus and Methods for Processing Optical Fibers with a Plasma
Concord, CA (ContentDesk) December 5, 2005 -- Building on over 20 years of continuous plasma technology innovation, March Plasma Systems announced today that it has been awarded a United States Patent for Apparatus and Methods for Processing Optical Fibers with a Plasma, U.S. Patent Number 6,852,169. March has always been a technology-driven company, said James Getty, Director of Applications at March Plasma Systems. Our technology gives us a competitive edge in the marketplace with our advanced...
March Plasma Systems Receives United States Patent Number 6,852,169 for Apparatus and Methods for Processing Optical Fibers with a Plasma Puppy training plasma tv Demand Dignity in Public Speaking Training (c)
Puppy training > March Plasma Systems Receives United States Patent Number 6,852,169 for Apparatus and Methods for Processing Optical Fibers with a Plasma